Early Manhood

My son Ethan has all the makings to be a chauvanistic pig. He's generally very sweet, but when he wants something, he DEMANDS it in a very Archie Bunkerish tone. Nine times out of 10 I have to ask him to rephrase his request, which he always does, politely. This morning was no different. When we came downstairs with Dylan to get a bowl of cereal, Ethan asks if we have Honey Nut Cheerios. I say, "No." He then says,

"Well, then go and get some RIGHT NOW!"

"I don't think so. . ." I say in my Jerry Seinfeld voice, which makes him even angrier. He continues to demand that I go right now to buy him cereal, which I continue to decline. Meanwhile, Dylan and I sit down to eat our cereal. Ethan, in an effort to assert his manhood, walks around the table to Dylan and tries to grab his arm, which I immediately stop. He of course insists that I hurt him and flops on the ground. I then explain to him that if he keeps this up, he will be sent to his room. Getting a grip, he becomes determined to WIN. He creeps up off the floor, goes to the counter, and says, "Well, I'm just going to get a bowl of cereal MYSELF!" As Ethan is taking the box from the counter, Dylan, in a very deep voice, grunts a growl, and says, "STRONG!"Apparently they were both understanding this unspoken language of manhood, something I clearly missed in my many years of schooling.